Twist of Wyrd

Non-judgmental?

We hear this term a lot in the lifestyle and even in society in general, but what does it mean? Well, the prefix merely means not, so we get not "Of or relating to judgment.; Inclined to pass judgment, critical."

"Knowing a great deal is not the same as being smart; intelligence is not information alone but also judgment, the manner in which information is collected and used" - Dr. Carl Sagan

So, we don't want to use our judgment... Huh? Sorry, but I do, without our judgment we are not the brightest bunch... We judge everyday, every minute. To claim otherwise is the height of ignorance.

"We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path." - Paulo Coelho

I am open minded, very open minded by some people's definitions, however I remain, and will always remain, judgmental. We all should remain judgmental, it is what allows us to decide right from wrong, and while I may not be able to say what path is right for you, I may very well be able to know which ones are wrong.

We have in this lifestyle decided that everything is right, nothing is wrong, and in that, we are greatly wrong. There is no one "twue" path, but there are many. And there are wrong paths, and those who have been around and persisted in this lifestyle more than a few years know it.

The internet has been a good thing and a bad thing to this lifestyle, it has provided an open door to many who would not have known about the lifestyle before. However it has also provided an open door to those who would use and abuse the lifestyle and those in it. I live by the mantra "If you see it and do not correct it, you own it." In that, I daily try to correct that which I see as wrong, to me to do otherwise means I am doing the wrong.

"Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment." - Bob Packwood

Comments (0) July 01, 2008 (1:52pm)

House of Wyrd

Well, the house is slowly moving towards being ready for the first event this weekend, the website House of Wyrd is up, sort of, at least it is when the webhost is working right...

It's been a battle, and a struggle and one I would not have been able to make without the help of friends and my girls.

"The games have just begun" - Jigsaw

Comments (0) June 03, 2008 (11:53am)

D/s and emotional abuse

There are four types of abuse: neglect, sexual, physical and emotional. While many of us know all about sexual or physical abuse and have a good understanding of neglect, most of us have no clue of the emotional abuse that exists in the lifestyle, and we see it everyday. It exists in large quantities, in many of the relationships people look to as "models" of how to behave.

The following are some of the signs of emotional abuse:
* They constantly call, text-message, e-mail, IM, etc. to check up on you.
* They are extremely jealous when you talk to or spend time with other people.
* They call you names or put you down, either when you're alone or with other people.
* They go behind your back to talk about things with other people, sabotaging relationships. * They make statements like, "I can't live without you. If you leave me, I'll kill myself."
* You feel depressed, anxious, and unhappy in your relationship with them.
* You're scared to upset or make your partner angry.
* You've seen your partner hurt or talk down to other people.
* You're down on yourself, or even hate yourself, especially when you're together.
* You don't spend as much time with your friends, and you feel isolated.

I know you have seen or experienced some of these, maybe many of them. And before you go saying this is just for submissives, I have been in an emotional abusive relationship before, and the "submissive" was the one doing the abusing. Many passive aggressive people are emotionally abusive and don't even realize they are doing it, so look to your own behavior, do you do any of that? Do you know someone who is with an emotional abuser, send them a link to this article to read, maybe they will get the hint.

Most forms of abuse are about control, which means we in the lifestyle have to be especially wary that we, as dominants or submissives, are not abusive. Most will agree there are a large number of people in this lifestyle for the wrong reasons, many need to take a long honest look at themselves.

We cannot make people change, some will always be abusers, some will always be victims, but we can point it out and let them see it, and then they can make the choice to change themselves or to live with their choice.

Know the warning signs, the red flags, no one can keep you safe but you.

Comments (0) April 23, 2008 (10:55am)